“Hi,”
I said, but I didn’t look up from my book. With a guy like Ackley, if you
looked up from your book you were a goner. You were a goner anyway, but
not as quick if you didn’t look up right away.
For once in my stupid life, I was really glad to see him. He took my
mind off the other stuff. I
sat there for about a half hour after he left. I mean I just sat in my chair,
not doing anything.
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Usually they keep yanking the kid’s
dress up in the back by mistake, and the kid can’t dance worth a damn anyway,
and it looks terrible, but I don’t do it out in public with Phoebe or anything. We just horse around in the house. It’s different with her anyway, because she
can dance.
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If you were only around six years old, you could get liquor
at Ernie’s, the place was so dark and all, and besides, nobody cared how old
you were. You could even be a dope fiend and nobody’d care. My
mother didn’t like her too much. I mean my mother always thought Jane and her
mother were sort of snubbing her or something when they didn’t say hello. My
mother saw them in the village a lot, because Jane used to drive to market with
her mother in this LaSalle convertible they had. My mother didn’t think
Jane was pretty, even.
I was concealing the fact that I was a wounded
sonuvabitch. Finally what I felt like, I felt like giving old Jane a buzz and
see if she was home yet. Then I left the bar and
went out where the telephones were. I kept keeping my hand under my jacket to
keep the blood from dripping. When
I came out of the record store, I passed this drugstore, and I went in.
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It’s supposed to be religious as hell, I know, and very pretty and all, but I
can’t see anything religious or pretty, for God’s sake, about a bunch of actors
carrying crucifixes all over the stage. When they were all finished and started
going out the boxes again, you could tell they could hardly wait to get a
cigarette or something. I saw it with old Sally Hayes the year before, and she
kept saying how beautiful it was, the costumes and all. I said old Jesus
probably would’ve puked if He could see it―all those fancy costumes and
all.
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You’d have an overcoat on this time. Or
the kid that was your partner in line the last time had got scarlet fever and
you’d have a new partner. Or you’d have a substitute taking the class, instead
of Miss Aigletinger.
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I sort of kept looking around for those two nuns I’d
met at breakfast the day before, but I didn’t see them. I knew I wouldn’t,
because they’d told me they’d come to New York to be schoolteachers, but I kept
looking for them anyway. Anyway, it was pretty Christmasy all of a sudden.
I couldn’t remember where I’d put
my tie. I put on my jacket and all without it. Old Mr. Antolini was sitting now
in the big chair a little ways away from me, watching me. It was dark and all
and I couldn’t see him so hot, but I knew he was watching me, all right.